Kobe Bryant has a new Nike ad, gives world’s greatest interview.
Los Angeles Lakers icon Kobe Bryant
has been a part of the NBA for 17 seasons. During that time, he's seen several
different eras, from the end of Michael Jordan's dominance to the recent
ascendance of LeBron James and Kevin Durant. The only constant, really, has
been Kobe. He's been so good and so relevant for so long that a certain kind of
fan — anyone younger than 30, basically — may have a hard time conceiving of
the NBA without him.
In other words, he's a constant.
It's exactly that idea that gives the new Kobe-centric Nike ad it's power. In
the spot, a British woman narrates Kobe's daily routine and performances as a
part of the natural cycle of the world, a sure thing much like the sun shining,
rain falling, and grass growing. He's a fixed part of our lives.
Opinions on Kobe change, of course,
and it's not as if he's the exact same player or personality every season. But
this commercial nevertheless nails the Kobe experience very, very well. He
really is an essential part of the sports landscape, a defining figure in NBA
history.
As if to hammer home his unique importance,
Bryant also happened to give an instant-classic interview with Chris Palmer for ESPN.com.
The conversation touches on many aspects of Kobe's life, including his belief
that he's the greatest one-on-one player ever, his similarities to the common
man, and his lifelong crusade against dog poop.
In the question and answer session,
Bryant went out of his way to tell Palmer that, nearly 17 full years into his
professional career, that he's never come out on the losing end of a one-on-one
game. Accept that with however many grains of salt you typically prefer with
Bryant, but that's his quote. From the interview:
I love going one-on-one with
someone. That’s what I do. I’ve never lost. It’s a whole different game, just
to have them right in front of you and be able to do whatever you want.
Check out some other highlights
after the jump.
As noted in the preceding paragraph,
the biggest basketball-only revelation in this interview is that Kobe gives
some details of his one-on-one prowess, as well as past victories (via TBJ):
Who would you most like to play
one-on-one, either active or retired?
Jordan. No question.
What would happen?
I’m not sure, but he would win some
and I would win some in a seven-game series. It would probably come down to the
last few shots.
You versus LeBron? Who wins?
Me. No question. As far as
one-on-one, I’m the best to ever do it.
Kobe goes on to describe how Kevin
Durant could possibly give him problems in a head-to-head matchup. Palmer
follows up by mentioning prime Tracy McGrady as a potential challenger, and
that's when things get out of hand:
I always wanted to see you play
Tracy McGrady.
I played T-Mac. I cooked him.
Roasted him. Wasn’t even close. Ask him, he’ll tell you. When I was about 20,
we were in Germany doing some promotional stuff for that other sneaker company
and we played basketball every day. We were in the gym all the time. We played
three games of one-on-one to 11. I won all three games. One game I won 11-2.
After the third game he said he had back spasms and couldn’t play anymore.
His back bothered him for most of
his career.
Well, now you know.
Kobe's memory may be off, but he
turned 20 in August 1998. McGrady first struggled seriously with back injuries during the
2001-02 season, which means that it's entirely possible that Kobe is claiming
to have caused T-Mac's career-long back problems in a series of one-on-one
thumpings. I do not want to jump to conclusions, but it's a possible
interpretation.
The interview shifts course shortly
after this exchange and gets into more personal territory, and that's where
things get really interesting. I'm hesitant to spoil too many of the surprises,
but it's worth reading in full just to experience the wonderful quote "I
do all of life's daily tasks" in context.
However, there is one point worth
giving special attention. Palmer asks Kobe for his pet peeve. His response:
I hate dog s---. I won’t go near it.
So pissed when I step in it. I’ve got four dogs and I just don’t do dog doo.
I’m a diva when it comes to that.
I'm not sure if dog poop can be
called a pet peeve — unless, that is, Kobe thinks a pet peeve is a peeve about
pets — because that term typically refers to ever-present, inescapable problems
that just won't go away. Whatever the case, it's worth noting that Bryant has
been on a crusaded against dog poop for at least three years. In 2009, he gave an interview to Complex.com in which he also
expressed his disdain.
I'm still not sure why Kobe thinks
it's notable that he hates something 99.9 percent of humans hate, but he's
obviously had some bad experiences with dog poop. Yet, if he really does have
to deal with it more often than anyone else in the world, as he seems to think,
then that would certainly explain some of his more bizarre behavior.
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